Life Lately

Its May! April was, ugh, just April like it always is. May brings a renewed sense of hope to my spirit. Lately we have been enjoying the nice weather, sleeping MUCH better, and overall just loving life. Nathan finished his grad school class and has the summer off from school. Judah and Abigail are getting so big!

All dressed for Church!

Adorable lion hat!Roar!

Nathan's getting a good start on the garden 

I love his smile!

Celebrating Abigail's baptism anniversary!

Love staying home so I can lounge in bed with these two!

Hitting up some good garage sale finds!

Radio Time!

Listen in tomorrow (Monday, May 4th) from 1-2 pm Central time to hear my husband and I speak live on relevant radio. We will spend the hour talking about Caleb's story and the hope, redemption, and restoration God had shown us through it all. If you can't listen in during that time, just check the archives for our show and listen anytime!

Listen by Clicking Here!

Happy 4th Birthday!

A little late but Happy 4th Birthday Caleb! We spent the morning delivering muffins to our OB office and the labor and delivery floor as a thank you to all who helped us during Caleb's birth. Then we headed to dinner at steak n shake-the restaurant where I ate many burgers during my pregnancy with Caleb. Overall year 4 has been gentle, manageable, but still so sad. Missing you Caleb, every day!

He is Risen

He is Risen, Risen Indeed!

May the Victory of Easter be with you all!

Family Picture!

Our Resurrection Garden we made-empty tomb!

This guy is my Easter Joy!

Holy Week

Today is Palm Sunday. And just like that the weight I carry of a would be almost 4 year old feels incredibly heavy. Its distracting and I've found myself fighting back tears all day. Four years ago today we were meeting with our pastor to pick out funeral readings. Two days later we buried him in the cold rain. Then we just walked away and tried to pick up our lives. Good Friday felt like a real life nightmare, not just another liturgical ceremony. Sunday was Easter, his due date, and I spent the day packing away my maternity clothes and sobbing. All of these memories came rushing in today as we held our palm branches. 

I listened to a sermon this afternoon online where the pastor asked "what does holy week mean to you?" I thought that was a good question. To me, Holy Week means sorrow-always will. The sorrow I carry from losing my own son and the sorrow I carry as I walk with Mary through this week. She is my constant companion, always willing to carry this load of grief with me.

This picture sums up how I feel this week. It's after the funeral when Nate and I were waiting for the Church to clear out before we headed to the cemetery. I love how big the crucifix looks in comparison to us. I love how empty everything around us looks because that is how it felt. I also love seeing that big Easter Candle. It gave me such hope that the light could overcome the darkness.

Praying for all those suffering this week. All those whose suffering will not end at the Easter Vigil Saturday night. Praying for all those on the cross that they can meet Jesus there and cling to him. 

Meals Galore

I feel like I need to say thank you over and over again to everyone who brought us a meal. Since Judah was born we have received 23 meals! 23 meals! That is incredible! We also received countless treats from others. I had no idea before having Judah how helpful meals were. When we lost Caleb people brought us meals which was so nice, but often it was awkward and sad and no one knew what to say. Then when Abigail was born we declined a lot of meals because we felt like people had already done so much for us that year. Now with Judah the meals came rolling in and it was so wonderful. Not only did they help feed us but they also helped keep our weekly budget way low leaving room for other things like diapers and baby things, not to mention all the medical bills.  

We still have a solid 5 meals in our freezer too! And so thank you to anyone who brought us a meal or who has ever brought someone a meal. I will forever be first to sign up from now on to bring meals. Last but not least, here were some the meals in case you need ideas next time you bring someone a meal:

-Rotisserie Chicken with sides (mac n cheese, corn bread, potato salad)

-Stuffed shells-not sure all that was in it, but it was great with a side of garlic bread

-Ribs! They were delicious and came with a side of green bean casserole and sweet potatoes

-pizza-always a win

-Chicken Pot Pie-yum

-Beef stew

-anything Italian was great

-cake, cookies, snacks, wine, ice cream, all the extras that go along way! 

Thank you everyone!

New Post

Here is the latest post by my husband on our ministry website. Please read and pass along to anyone in need.

The Prison of Grief